April 2013
63 posts
getoffmysheetmycroft:
lastallianceofelvesandmen:
escapedninja:
Friendly reminder that Fili and Kili weren’t born until almost a hundred years after the fall of Erebor and are rescuing a home they never knew
#a home they will also never know
I went to church with my family tonight and the...
Pastor: Now, according to a few passages in the bible, homosexuality is a sin.
Couple of older males in the audience: Amen!
Pastor: Now, wait, I'm not finished.
Pastor: You know what else the bible defines as a sin? Divorce.
-uncomfortable silence-
Pastor: There are countless passages that talk about how divorce is wrong, and that there are consequences to getting a divorce, such as the wife should be stoned.
Pastor: Yet, I witnessed a divorce just this morning. And I gotta tell you, it was heartbreaking, but I definitely didn't attempt to throw rocks at the wife, even though she was the one who filed for divorce.
Pastor: We choose to overlook the consequences of divorce because time has proven that they're inhumane and cruel.
Pastor: The bible doesn't say anything about the consequences of a homosexual lifestyle. Yet, we seem to be spearheading a campaign to ruin the lives of people we don't even know.
-the pastor shifts a few notes around-
Pastor: The bible states to love thy neighbor. That's it. There are no other rules or restrictions to that passage.
Pastor: So, we as a church family have to support equality with a smile on our face. THAT is the true Christian way.
deduction-to-seduction:
tweenthedevilandthedeepbluesea:
mariokarth:
what if nipples changed color depending on your mood
What if they glow blue when orcs are near?
maybe they do, I mean when have you and an orc been in the same room?
superblys:
itbewolf:
superblys:
Do you. bite your thumb. at us, sir? I do bite. my thumb, sir. DO YOU BITE YOUR THUMB AT US, SIR? Is the law of our side, if I say ay? No. NO, SIR, I DO NOT BITE MY THUMB AT YOU, SIR, BUT I BITE MY THUMB, SIR. DO YOU QUARREL, SIR? QUARREL SIR! NO, SIR.
Why does this have so many notes.
Do you know who William Shakespeare is
message me a body part. (:
Hair: How many wigs do you own?
Skin: Do you tan easily?
Eyes: What is your favorite show to watch?
Nose: What is your favorite perfume/candle fragrance?
Mouth: Do you want to kiss anyone right now?
Tongue: What was in your last meal?
Windpipe: Do you sing?
Neck: Do you wear necklaces?
Ears: How many times have you heard something you wish you never had?
Cheeks: Do you blush easily?
Wrists: Do you/ have you self-harmed?
Hands: Are you an artist/writer?
Fingers: Do you play an instrument?
Heart: Are you in love? If so, does the one you love know?
Lungs: Do you smoke cigarettes?
Breasts/chest: Are your maternal/parental instincts strong?
Stomach: Do you feel confident in your body image?
Back: Are you a virgin?
Hips: Do you like to dance?
Vagina/Penis: Have you been judged because of your gender?
Ass: Have you ever been sexually assaulted? If so, have you recovered and what is your advice for others in the same situation?
Thighs: Has anyone ever called you fat or ugly?
Knees: Have you ever cheated on someone?
Ankles: Have you ever been arrested?
Feet: Do you ever wear heels just for the Hell of it?
Toes: Do you like country music?
hiddlestonhug:
melislostinthestars:
the-art-of-fangirling:
remember that time Captain America went on a double date with Clara Oswald
then chased down Thorin Oakenshield
for killing Caesar Flickerman
and ended up fighting Elrond and Dobby
who had started everything by killing Filch
The nerd is strong with this post
eventualprocrastination:
sameoldsorceress:
andispyralgoesmad:
I am never going to get over the fact that this guy directed “Thor”.
Did he though, or did he just obliviate the actual director and stick his name on the credits?
let's get a few things straight.
bisexual with a preference for the same sex does not mean "one foot out of the closet."
bisexual with a preference for the opposite sex does not mean "trying to get attention."
lesbian does not mean "masculine."
gay does not mean "feminine."
transgender does not mean "going through a phase."
transsexual does not mean "a disappointment." nor does it mean "gender identity confusion."
asexual does not mean "prude."
demisexual does not mean "prude."
objectsexual does not mean "mentally ill."
pansexual does not mean "easy."
heterosexual does not mean "normal"
Your does not mean "you are"
As many of you know, I recently purchased an...
mechbeth:
nudityandnerdery:
speakerwiggin:
zohbugg:
Well let me tell you, it was quite the pragmatic purchase. It has endless uses in my morning routine.
Such as making the bed:
Making toast:
Getting things off high shelves:
Making coffee:
Reaching the remote when it’s too far away:
And assisting me when I ran out of toilet paper:
I don’t know how I survived life...
“Abortion seems to be the only medical procedure that people want to deny you...”
– Worry About Your Own Uterus: (via veruca-assault)
“Worry about your own uterus” wise wise words.
(via triplash)
I wouldn't be afraid of spiders if I could just...
Me: Oh, hey whoa, this shower is occupied.
Spider: Omg man I didn't see you there.
Me: We cool?
Spider: Yeah, yeah, we're cool. I'm just coming down to scope out the tub.
Me: Oh, that's legit. Hey, you might wanna move over some--you're descending right into the shower stream and I don't want you to drown.
Spider: Hey thanks, bud. I'll be careful.
Me: So...can I get out now?
Spider: Sure, sure! Sorry I'll just move over here.
Me: Thanks. You have a nice night. Don't come into my bedroom, okay?
Spider: Nah, that's your space. We're cool. Have a great evening.
Me flirting: Hey, do you want to come to my house and watch The Lord Of The Rings: Extended Edition?
1 tag
l
pahnem:
mercuriesrising:
aparticularlygoodfinder:
Go to Starbucks. Order coffee for “Prisoner 24601”
When they call out your order, jump up and yell “My name is Jean Valjean!”
And if the barista replies with “AND I’M JAVERT,” you tip that motherfucker so hard
you tip them right over the edge of a bridge
you fucking didn’t
